A Physicist, A Poem

APS held a physics lymerics contest. Some of my favorites follow.

Condensed Story of Ms Farad
by A. P. French

Miss Farad was pretty and sensual
And charged to a reckless potential;
But a rascal named Ohm
Conducted her home -
Her decline was, alas, exponential.

Einstein, Podolsky and Rosen
by David Halliday

Two photons, close-coupled at start,
Flew several parsecs apart.
Said one, in distress,
"What you're forced to express
Removes any choice on my part."

On What's New and True
author unknown

A certain Phys Rev referee
Considers all papers with glee:
"What's new is not true,
And what's true is not new,
Unless it was written by me."
[Editors Note: Several varients on this theme were submitted.]

See You at Work
by Steve Langer

The chairman of AT&T
Said, "Your graduate physics degree
Is not worth a - penny,
Of your kind we've too many.
Perhaps you can program in C?"

I'm a dork dork dork dork dork dork dork dork dork dork dork dork dork dork dork dork dork dork dork dork dork dork dork dork dork dork dork dork dork dork dork dork dork dork dork dork dork dork dork dork dork dork dork dork dork dork dork dork dork dork dork dork.