The Coryphaeus of Science: How to Cheat

Cheating is an important part of any undergraduate edumacation program. If, after all that you paid in tuition you failed to learn how to cheat properly, you should feel ripped off.

As an instructor, we try not to witch-hunt for cheaters. But, sometimes, the cheating is so obvious that it has to be dealt with.

It is sad when this happens, and somewhat painful. I try to project my share of the pain onto the students that cheated until I get some entertainment or tears followed by tortured Mea Culpas. It is like the merciless love that parents shouldn't ever use but do. It builds character, I rationalize. Since I'm the best TA ever, it would imply that I'm some sort of Stalin, a despot, but a "Gardener of Human Happiness" nevertheless. I love my students.

Here are a few tips on how to cheat:

2. Don'’t talk British.
The only people allowed to use the word "colour" are those with Indian surnames.
[...]
8. Edit > Paste Special > Unformatted Text
This is my Number 1 piece of advice, even if it is numbered eight. When you copy things from the web into Word, ignoring #3 above, don't just Edit-Paste” it into your document.

And please, for the love of dog, don't photocopy entire pages of the lab reports from your friend in the same section.