How to write a scientific proposal

For the past few days I've learned quite a bit about writing scientific proposals. Here is a mockup proposal that could serve as a guide for n00bs on the art of writing proposals.

Random Looking Numbers and codes
More random looking numbers and codes

NAME OF AN AGENCY THAT YOU THINK HAS MONEY, like Department of Defense, or Homeland Security Shit, or Intelligence crap

Random numbers and letters

Title: The research you have already done applied to some buzzword

Principal Investigator: Someone famous in your field, PhD.

Team: Your name, not PhD
Other names of people that have done significant work in the field and are friendly towards you.

Budget: X Million of dollars for the next 1 year mostly for traveling and pens.

Highlights of the vitae of the P.I.: He invented everything in the field, and every other field ever known. He started the buzzword, even named it and published about it 100 years before everyone else in the best journals evah. He pnwed everyone else in teh field!!!1111111111



"The research you have already done applied to some buzzword"
Name of organization with the spendola

Executive summary:

The PI did everything. Ever. Done. Now we want to apply it to all your problems. Oil? Terrorists? Anthrax? Hurricanes? Nucular Weapons? Global Warming? We will solve them all because we have published a lot [see references 1 to 55]. Some other people have published a bit too [reference the scientists you guess will end up making a decision on this proposal]. We will improve on what they have done and use our m4d 5k1lls to do what they said couldn't be done. Our method will consist of... shoot, I don't have any more room to actually explain anything that we will do.

Background Information:

During the world's history, human knowledge has advanced on the shoulders of the P.I. [reference some ancient religious books]. The PI's research is on the brink of solving Life, The Universe and Everything Else.

Statement of Work:

If you give us your money, we will use technologies to solve problems. Then we will use intellect to unify these problems into the most important scientific achievement ever [see refereces]. We will do all these and then some, because we are the best of the best [see more references].

Now, give us your money and don't ask for any results back, bitches.