Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's ass

The supreme court ruled in favor of keeping the monument in the Texas Capitol that displays the Ten Commandments. Christian groups say that the Ten Commandments are the foundation of the constitution, and in particular, the U.S. policy. I suggest a detailed analysis of these laws given by God directly to Moses.

"I am the Lord thy God, which have brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage."
The first commandment is very clearly a definition: God is the Judeo-Christian God. What messages does this says about other religions? Shouldn't there be other religious texts displayed in the Capitol too?

"Thou shalt have no other gods before me. [...] Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I, the Lord thy God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me; and showing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments."
Isn't this God clearly against the First amendment?

"Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain: for the Lord will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain."
President Bush said "God told me to strike at al Qaeda and I struck them, and then he instructed me to strike at Saddam, which I did." Dubya, don't use God's name as an excuse.

"Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy."
So far, 4/10 commandments, but none of them have anything to do with the foundation of the constitution. But hold on, this will get resolved soon.

"Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee."
Finally, something nice is said.

"Thou shalt not Kill."
That means, do not kill. I don't care if you call them evildoers.

"Thou shalt not commit adultery."
Makes sense.

"Thou shalt not steal."
Except oil.

"Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour."
WMDs? Links between Iraq and 9/11? Dubya, give us a freaking break, we are sick of you repeating the same lie over and over.

"Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, [...] nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's."
Nor his land, nor his political significance as a pawn, nor his carbonate resources. Nor his ass. See? The constitution, based on this commandment, is against gay marriage!

Moses, as he came down from the mount with the stone tablets, and saw the people of God adoring a golden statue, got mad and broke some of the commandments. I guess all the exceptions this administration has used to invade and murder their neighbors, to steal their resources were clearly written there.

A couple of conclusions can be drawn. First, the ten commandments have nothing to do with the constitution. Second, this administration's policy has nothing to do with the ten commandments. So it goes.

The Watermelon

I like watermelons. And I had bought a watermelon. A few days passed before I considered eating it, but last night, I considered cutting and eating it, but decided against it; I would wait until the next morning. I woke up craving the watermelon for breakfast. As I walk to the kitchen, this trash smell was everywhere, and there was stinky water in the middle of the kitchen floor for no good reason. After much exploration, I was able to determined that it came from the watermelon, now a gelatinous round mass with the texture of a deflated basketball. Some rugs ended up stinking, and everything still smells kind of nasty. Now I will proceed to clean the house, for real. I do not like watermelons.

Kung Fu Hustle

Kung Fu Hustle takes the traditional Kung Fu formula and turns it inside out. A refreshingly weird comedy, with hilarious fights, that anyone can enjoy.

You may know kung fu... but you're still a fairy.

flag burning

According to UsHistory.com and their Flag Rules and Regulations

Section 8k of the Flag Code (see below) states, "The flag, when it is in such condition that it is no longer a fitting emblem for display, should be destroyed in a dignified way, preferably by burning." We recommend that you contact your local VFW Chapter and ask them for help properly disposing of your flag. And be sure to consider providing a small donation to them for their assistance. Or you can contact your local Elks Lodge (who created the idea of Flag Day, established officially by President Truman, himself a member of the Elks), the American Legion, or the Knights of Columbus. Some Boy Scout and Girl Scout troups also can provide this service.

Flags can't be burned, unless you pay someone to do it.

ipod is good for your health

I wasn't expecting to buy an iPod. The number written in the price tag was too high for such a small piece of technology. Knowing that I wouldn't buy one, I started saying that the only reason I don't exercise is because I don't have an iPod to take with me.
However, after playing with my PowerBook and iTunes I noticed why the price tag makes so much sense. The iPod is not only a beautiful gadget but it is very well designed too! I hate companies that require the installation of hundreds of programs and drivers just to run a single piece of hardware. My last external CD-drive came with an installation CD that I had no idea how to run with my CD-Ron deficient PC.
All my applications promised interaction with iPod. iPod can be used as an Address Book, Calendar and Portable Hard Drive. I asked the internet about this, and it told me that it is true, iPod will work out of the box with everything in my computer.
The harm was done, I had to get an iPod.

My first thoughts after buying my iPod will be enumerated right now:
Wow, that was more expensive than I thought.
But it looks so beautiful.
Hey! What's this installation disc?
Oh, ok.. "For computers with Windows".
It even has games! I didn't know that.
I'm so glad I bought this.
Wait a minute! Now I will have to start exercising.

At this moment I realized that the damage was done already. Now that I have to run every morning, it may turn out that iPod is good for your health!

Flag Burning

The house has passed a constitutional amendment to prohibit burning the flag of the US. Here is a very nice timeline of the issue. Here are recommendations on how to on how to protest this on the 4th of July: burn flags that look almost like US flags.

Spam for Cannon Fodder ...and Sperm

The Pentagon has acknowledged the existence of a database created to "scan" and contact possible military recruits.

The Pentagon's statements added that anyone can "opt out" of the system by providing detailed personal information that will be kept in a separate "suppression file." That file will be matched with the full database regularly to ensure that those who do not wish to be contacted are not, according to the Pentagon.

So, if you don't want to be on the list, they will not delete you off it.

Privacy advocates said the plan appeared to be an effort to circumvent laws that restrict the government's right to collect or hold citizen information by turning to private firms to do the work

Out of personal experience, I know that military recruits can be worse than most telemarketers.

When I was a few months away from finishing my engineering degree, Fall 2001, I decided to go to a videogame store, just to look around. This navy officer was at the store, pretending to be hanging out. As I looked at some games, he approached me. The conversation went, in English, in Puerto Rico, something like this:

-So, you like videogames - The Navy Recruiter said, as I stared back at him. Although my expression said "No shit", I said:
-I guess.
-Do you like [insert some videogame names with war themes that I don't quite recall]?
-Not really...
-In the Navy, we have videogame tournaments all the time. You like Quake, right?
-Not really...
-Also, we play basketball, you do like basketball, do you?
-Ehm, sorry, I don't have time for this...
-This could be a really good opportunity for you, you can have a career at the navy, good money...
-Sorry, I'm graduating soon, and already have a good job offer, and I'm not interested in the Navy...
-Why don't you let me get your information, so we can contact you, just for orientation purposes.
-I'm not interested - I was furious already.
-I'm only asking for...
-I'm not interested in the Navy. I don't like war. I hate what the Navy does. Leave me alone. Paz para Vieques! - And I walked out. The "Paz para Vieques" part was just to get him off me, it came out great. As I walked out of the store, pissed off, he said,
-It is ok, I respect your position, it is ok.

Fast Forward to a few years after, to grad school. A recruiter got my email address and started spamming me with 'opportunities'. I reported him as spam, it was ignored. I got mad, finally emailed him back, saying how I was not interested in the wonderful opportunity of training for a day like the special forces do.

How did that guy get my information? Evidently, my school sells my private information. I've already mentioned how I once got a letter from a Sperm Bank. They knew my age, degrees, ethnicity and other kinds of information, and they thought I was a great candidate to donate my sperm. What is that suppose to mean? "We think you look like the kind of guy who would masturbate really well?" Later I heard of other students in my program who got similar letters. So it goes.

Dresden Dolls

Isn't it fun when you are introduced to a new, refreshing band? That is what happened with me and Dresden Dolls. A girl with a piano, a guy at the drums. The best way to describe it is Cabaret music with Punk and Rock influence. Check out the song Girl Anachronism, it has an abrasive piano and a lot of energy.

Librarians fight for you

Love your librarian. They are the ones fighting for your privacy rights against the PATRIOT act. According to this article, there have been many FBI inquiries of book lists of different people that have been denied by the librarians. Apparently reading about Osama Bin Laden is anti-patriotic.

But, knowing were Osama is and doing nothing isn't. Well, that is what the CIA said. The CIA director says he knows were Bin Laden is, but won't go in due to issues related to sovereign countries. Translation: there is no oil there.

I thought this country was in a war against terror. I guess me reading in the library about police states is more dangerous to the American way than Bin Laden.

Carreteras y Lechones

Cómo parte de la pelea entre las dos facetas PNP y el poder ejecutivo PPD, el proceso de confirmación de secretarios de muchos departamentos se ha retrasado o ha sido especialmente difícil. El gordito Gabriel Alcaraz, aspirante a Secretario del Departamento de Transportacion y Obras Públicas, lloró mucho durante su ponencia debido al nerviosismo. Sin embargo, algunos senadores lo apoyaron:

Ambos senadores penepeístas puntualizaron que no existe ninguna razón para descalificar al funcionario, a quien exaltaron no sólo por su preparación académica sino por demostrar que conoce el estado y ubicación detallada de casi todos los proyectos de carreteras, sobre todo cuando éstos colindan con panaderías, lechoneras, restaurantes y cualquier establecimiento que vende comida.

US vs UN

The U.S. House of Representatives is using its iron fist to force the U.N. into reforming. They are threatening the U.N. with withholding funds and support. We all know US does whatever the hell they want to without any sort of respect to the UN. I guess that since the UN was originally developed to prevent imperialist countries from invading other countries, and since, due to these reasons, they opposed the invasion of Iraq based on lies, now the US' Representatives feels like it has the moral fiber to make them reform and conform to their needs. Actually, the issue isn't even about reform, it is about how obvious the UN has become a tool of the empire that it was supposed to control.
At the risk of following Godwin's Law, I will paraphrase the article suggested by my friend to: Fourth Reich anyone?

Begins

Batman Begins was as cool as the reviews say. Good plot, intelligent, great cast, everything was darn good. It even has the most humane Batman in celluloid form; making Bruce growth into Batman very believable. Don't even think about the last two pieces of shit Batman movies, this is good stuff.

Four more years of this shit?

It has been proposed in congress to eliminate Amendment #22. That is, it has been proposed to eliminate the constitutional amendment that limits a president to only run for two terms.

Can you imagine Born-Again-Warmonger vs Getting-head-isn't-sex 2008? The final battle of good vs evil, and then, the apocalypse!

More about OIL

Another British memo related to Operation Iraqi Liberty has appeared, this time saying that the American Taliban was rushing to invade Iraq without a plan to pull out. Note how this U.S. newspaper link doesn't even mention the previous, more incriminating memos.

Going back to the Kancho post, there is this particular story that has a very pertinent picture. When you read things like this, it is sort of crazy to see how people could distort history so much. Well, we are seeing it happen right now in Iraq. Lets go free some more countries!

Vacunao, I choose you

The next level of the evolution would be Vacunao. Vaaaa-cuuuu-naooooooo!
Just as a reminder:

Guaguanco is danced by a male-female couple and consists of a flirtatious, sexual game with a distinctive body movement called the vacunao (a pelvic thrust that transaltes as "vaccined") performed by the male dancer. The couple begins to dance, the male dancer is more active as he circles around her without touching her. The dance climaxes as the male attempts to give the vacuano when the female is unprepared to avoid it. Much of her dancing expertise resides in her ability to entice the male while skillfully avoiding being touched by his vacunao.

kancho i choose you!

I can imagine the Pokemon Development Team in a brainstorming session.

- There should be a pokemon named Kancho.
< the rest of the team listens carefully >
- He could be the evolution of Pikachu. Instead of yelling "piiiiii kaaaaa CHU" he could squeal "kaaaa aaaannnn CHO" and kanchos the opponent
< everybody nods in approval >

Adventures of a Teacher in Japan

I found this web site with the stories of an African-American (PC) English Teacher in Japan part of the JET program. They are mostly about the culture he has seen in Japan. That is, how sick some people can be over there. That is, how sick his middle school students are trying to grab his penis and shove their fingers up his ass in class, a game they call Kancho. I know it sounds weird, but the stories are actually really funny. Not porn or anything, just really messed up kids, cultural clash. The site has many stories, the best thing is to read them in order to really get them. Here are a few teasers:

Protecting The Merchandise
I decided to try and reason with him. "Why do you wanna touch that? Don't you like girls?" I said in a voice loud enough for everyone to hear. His response? "Lemme touch it! It's big right? I bet you it's big!" He then turns to the English teacher, a Japanese man in his mid-thirties, for confirmation. "It's big, isn't it?" My teacher's response? "Please don't compare him to us Japanese guys."

Ass Wars Episode VI - Return of the Kancho
"What in the world did you just do?" I ask.
"Kancho." He says nonchalantly, as if it's the most natural thing in the world to try and ram your fingers up someone's ass.
"Uh-huh. If you ever try that again, I will give you the biggest kancho in the history of Japan," I say. "General Tojo will feel it 60 years ago, and call his planes back before they get to Pearl Harbor. Got it?"

Ichinensei After Lunch
One boy though had drawn a picture. It was a stick figure representation of me, and a more filled out version of Godzilla. I was preparing to give Godzilla a kancho...but not with my fingers mind you. No, I was holding some sort of penis-shaped rocket, which I gleefully prepared to ram straight up Godzilla's ass. Godzilla's face had a strange smile on it, as if he were somehow excited over the prospect of getting this penis-rocket shoved up his ass. It was the most disturbing drawing I've ever seen, and I may go back and ask the teacher if she still has it.

The Octopus
I hesistate to tell this story, because it became a legend in Kyoto. I'd meet random people on the train who'd say "Oh! You're that octopus guy!" I'm seriously not even making that up. I had been trying to contain it the best I could, but I kind of figured it was hopeless when I ran into a friend who'd heard the story...while he was vacationing in Singapore. What the hell?! Anyway, I've sort of given up on containment, and since this can also potentially embarrass the hell out of my ex-girlfriend (that bitch...sorry, reflex...), I've decided to share with you all.
So anyway, The Octopus.
One day last winter, my ex-girlfriend and I were fooling around, and she agreed to give me a blow-job (note the verb usage - "agree", not "offer". That bitch). She said though she'd thought up a new technique, so she used this opporunity to try it out. She'd named it The Octopus. No, I will not tell you what "The Octopus" is, use your imaginations.

Not all the stories are sick, this one is quite cute.
I'm not sure if those stories are true or not, but, for sure, they are funny as hell.

Liar Liar Pants on Fire

More evidence is appearing reaffirming that Bush wanted to invade Iraq without any compelling reason and was asking Blair for help, and even a justification. Read it here.

The warning, in a leaked Cabinet Office briefing paper, said Tony Blair had already agreed to back military action to get rid of Saddam Hussein at a summit at the Texas ranch of President George W Bush three months earlier.

The briefing paper, for participants at a meeting of Blair'’s inner circle on July 23, 2002, said that since regime change was illegal it was “necessary to create the conditions” which would make it legal.

“It is just possible that an ultimatum could be cast in terms which Saddam would reject,” the document says. But if he accepted it and did not attack the allies, they would be “most unlikely” to obtain the legal justification they needed.

Of course, once again, this is being ignored by the U.S. media.

WWJD?

that movie about death cab for cutie

I went to the Seattle International Film Festival to see Drive Well, Sleep Carefully, a movie about Death Cab for Cutie. The director said that when he started the project, he intended it to be a concert video. However, it evolved into a documentary about the band and "being in the road".

I think that I like the band a little less now. Watching them talking about how they have played some songs 5000 times and how has been the transition from a small van to a tour bus is contradictory to the view that they have of themselves. They feel like they are a band with a long trajectory when they are still 7 years old.

However, the film was well shot and edited. The videos were very representative of the energy that they bring into to stage. The director is very talented and capable of translating the message into the screen. It's too bad that the band was not as effective in doing this.

DJ Vader

Can you imagine Darth Vader spinning? Me neither. But you can witness it here.

The Emperor is not as forgiving as I am.

i have a mac because i'm just better than you are

* panoramic shot
I started using mac because my last PC left me down completely. When it wasn't the paint getting bleached, it was the DVD ruining itself. Its massive 10 pounds of weight and its 45minutes of battery life transformed my laptop into a portable desktop.
* close up to face
However, my mac is great. It is light and can go coast to coast without having to plug it in. She embraced my old pc with a look that seemed to say "Don't be scared, I still have some use for you."
* Face shot aligned to the left.
From the first moment I turned my Powerbook on I started to feel more efficient. Its software is well designed to make life more comfortable.
* Panoramic shot, aligned to the right.
For the first time in my life I am using a phone book that does what I tell him to do. The calendar is light and doesn't try to do more than it should do. This is a change to the plain text file I used before.
* apple logo with apple.com/switch text written below
I am rabidmanx, and I switched to mac.

The Phantom

The Phantom console, is it real or not? Bachus says it is real, and has a demo! What is the problem with this? Well, first he can't seem to sell his business model in the video. Second, he shows menus on how to buy and order games. But does not show an actual game running. He even admits that his hardware is old now, and will not ever be cutting edge.

Horseless Carriage

I have acquired one of those new Horseless Carriages. Unlike normal carriages, it doesn't get tired, and requires less care than your typical horse. Only eats a petroleum product, and excretes gas that smells much better than manure.

My carriage, in particular, is of the standard type; apparently there is a non-standard type too. That means that to operate it you need to have some coordination between both legs as you both push with one and release a pedal with the other while you operate a lever with one of your hands. Why it is so complicated is beyond my understanding. What I do know is that if you misuse the pedals, the carriage starts acting like it was untamed and jumps around. Some other times it just refuses to move, which has already got me into precarious situations.

Swim w/o Mr. Sun

Last semester I was taking that swimming class. I improved a lot on my strokes and speed (har har) and really had fun. Now, summer is here, they don't offer the class, so I can't have a whole lane in the pool just for me early in the morning as I used to.
But, the Swim Center does offer some hours to go swim. MWF 6-7:30am. Yes, Mr. Sun isn't up yet at that time. Yes, I have a really hard time waking up before Mr. Sun. Me and my friend decided to go for it. The Tag-Team peer pressure worked out! I always love how I feel after swimming in the mornings, so I hope we can keep up the pressure going through the whole summer.

The Monster Engine

I have been fascinated for a while with children's drawings. I like their use of colors, and how it changes with age. I like how they abstract shapes from reality and how, given their motor skills that also mature with age, translate them into a picture. For a while , when I was 21 years old, I even attempted to imitate child's drawing at different ages. I don't think I did such a good job, but some people wouldn't believe me at all. They were convinced it was my lil' cousins who made them.

Some artist asks a different question. What would a child's drawing look if it were painted realistically? The Monster Engine tries to answer that question. He takes a child's drawing and redoes the whole thing (most of the time with spray paint). It looks so cool. This one is my favorite. This interview to one of the kids is quite interesting too!

new kids on the ww2

Phobos talked to me about Band of Brothers the other day so I made some research about it and found out that 2nd Lt. C. Carwood Lipton is Donnie Wahlberg former member of the New Kids on the Block. Now I really want to see the series.

Computer Programming

von Neumann, besides inventing the current computer architecture, also invented the concept of programming as we know it:

Instruction tables will have to be made up by mathematicians with computing experience and perhaps a certain puzzle-solving ability. There will probably be a good deal of work of this kind to be done, for every known process has got to be translated into instruction table form at some stage. This work will go on whilst the machine is being built, in order to avoid some of the delay between the delivery of the machine and the production of results. Delay there must be, due to the virtually inevitable snags, for up to a point it is better to let the snags be there that to spend such time in design that there are non (how many decades would this course take?) This process of constructing instruction tables should be very fascinating. There need be no read danger of it ever becoming a drudge, for any processes that are quite mechanical may be turned over to the machine itself.

Note how as he invented programming, he invented bugs!

Battle Royale

Japan is crumbling down. Violence at schools is totally out of control. What can be done to teach these kids to respect the adults? Batoru rowaiaru. A class is chosen at random to go to an island. Each kid is given a different weapon, and the one who survives after three days, wins. If more than one survive, they all get killed. True, there where gallons and gallons of fake bright blood and a cheesy predictable plot, but, that was such a fun movie! And the classical and baroque soundtrack was pretty cool too!

We have randomly selected weapons to put in your kits, so you might get lucky, and you might not. [Picks up axe] This one is SUPER lucky.

history is cool

So much stuff going these days about the guy who claims to be deep throat. Didn't we already know who Deep Throat was?

Update: The Daily Show reports.

Nuggets de Pollo en la Legislatura

En mi escuela superior una vez dieron nuggets de pollo exageradamente salados. El comedor se llenó como nunca de gente que escuchó que darían, por primera vez nuggets, un momento historico en el comedor. Cuando la gente se dió cuenta que sabían horribles, se formó una guerra de nuggets. La fila del comedor, usualmente llena de empujones y tensiones, se volvió el blanco de los nuggets voladores, y sus compositores (de la fila) se veían reducidos a recoger los salados proyectiles del piso, parcialmente destruidos, y devolverlos en trayectorias parabólicas acompañados de improperios.

La legislatura de Puerto Rico, dividida y dividida, ha entrado en un caos muy similar al tipo de revolú que se formaría en la fila del comedor en una escuela. Algunas citas de este, este y este articulo:

En varias ocasiones la senadora Norma Burgos obstaculizó los trabajos y en momentos lució descontrolada. Burgos también protagonizó una garata con el senador popular Cirilo Tirado, quien la llamó “buscona” y “trepa palo”.

La senadora Lornna Soto utilizó sus manos como megáfono para dejarse oír.

El senador Luis Daniel Muñiz levantó sus manos sujetando un papel con un mensaje al presidente del Senado, Kenneth McClintock, que leía “De Castro Font ya no es portavoz”.

Cada vez que se hablaba de Rosselló o hacían alusión a un cambio en el portavoz de la mayoría, los seguidores aplaudían o gritaban su nombre. Mientras que a los senadores que apoyan a McClintock les gritaban “traidores y Judas”.

Burgos incluso arrancó el rótulo que identificaba la banca que correspondía a su correligionario Carlos Díaz y lo guardó en su cartera, tras lo cual invitó a Nolasco a ocupar la silla. Según observadores que presenciaron la escena, Burgos rehusó devolver el cartel al macero Carlos Fajardo cuando éste se lo reclamó. "Por favor, devuélvame el letrero", le dijo Fajardo, y Burgos le replicó: "Si lo quiere, sáquelo de mi cartera".