The Crackpot Index

My advisor constantly receives emails from certain, how should I call them?, crackpots, who advertise how they have figured out the universe. The emails contain no equations, no logical connection between the ideas, and most of the time refer to many layman books as authorities in the subject. In fact, I have seen one of these, what was that term?, crackpots, interrupt our group meeting with ideas of how, although he admits does not understands fundamental quantum mechanics very well, it is all wrong. It is always fun to talk about these people, but now their crackpotness can be quantified thanks to The Crackpot Index. Some of the ratings:

5 points for each word in all capital letters (except for those with defective keyboards).

5 points for each mention of "Einstien", "Hawkins" or "Feynmann".

10 points for arguing that a current well-established theory is "only a theory", as if this were somehow a point against it.

20 points for every use of science fiction works or myths as if they were fact.

40 points for comparing those who argue against your ideas to Nazis, stormtroopers, or brownshirts.

50 points for claiming you have a revolutionary theory but giving no concrete testable predictions.

That last one would mean that String Theorists are crackpots. So it goes.

People: Now in 2D!

Everybody has a secret world inside of them. I mean everybody. All of the people in the whole world -- no matter how dull and boring they are on the outside. Inside them they've all got unimaginable, magnificent, wonderful, stupid, amazing worlds... Not just one world. Hundreds of them. Thousands, maybe.
-The Sandman

People have many dimensions, I was arguing against my friend online. Not one, not two. Many more. I adapted a topological proof that I might have seen somewhere else to show that people are not two-dimensional. A person, a simply connected unique entity, cannot be 2D. I'm not sure if they are 3D, but topologically they have to be more than two. Being as resourceful as I am, I made a quick diagram, in MS-Paint, to prove it and sent it through IM to my friend. It has typos, and looks horrible, but I sort of like it the way it is. If I tried to clean it up and correct it, I will probably just ruin it. Click on it to enlarge it and read the small font.


People have to have more than 2 dimensions, or they would break into 2 parts.

That is assuming people have a normal gastrointestinal tract. It is possible to have a 2D person, but only if the GI tract has only one opening, such as in some invertebrates. In other words, 2D people can only exist iff they talk and shit through the same hole, which is a reasonable assumption now that I think of it.

I take it back then. My friend was right.

alaskan salmon and halibut

I went to the Pike Place Market Yesterday and bought a beautiful 1.20lbs (0.544310844 kilograms) of Alaskan Salmon. Being a bad cook, I was really afraid that my culinary experience would not be as formidable as I wanted it to be. With no internet at hand, I decided to prepare the now World Famous "Le Salmoné a la chat rabique".
It was awesome, am I a salmon chef now? Who knows, but I definitely need to repeat the experience. I will make some "le Salmoné con le tomato sauce" this weekend for me and some friends.
In my search for "Incredible Salmon Recipes" I stumbled with bacalao.com. They greet you with a nice "Welcome to the world of bacalao" and a picture of a cod fish. If only all sites were as convincing as this one. They even have a TV commercial for download.

On the separation of Science and State

Science to scientists, politics to politicians. Did I just say that? The politicians are the ones who give the funding out. But, after they give the funding, if out of prejudice decide to disregard the science, it was a waste of money, hurting the credibility of the scientists involved, and tainting the search for knowledge.

First, the Bush administration decided they didn't agree with the results scientific advisory committee chosen to study global warming. So they dismantled the group, and created a new one, where they asked each individual who they had voted for in the past election. The JASON committee almost went through something similar. Rumsfeld tried to stack the deck.

If you come to the science with preconceived ideas and are not willing to give them up, then you aren't trying to find the truth. Many times, most of the times, research gives you results opposite to what you expected, and we like it like that. You want the truth? You can't handle the truth!

Personally I have talked to many scientists, and how they have felt that in the past few years this kind of pressures have dramatically increased, in particular whenever the findings are against fossil fuels and creationism.

Finally, the AIP, the most important physics society in the world, has spoken. And it is sad and scary.

Me sube el ritmo por los pies...

Primera Hora reporta que el manual anti-terroristmo que recomendaba abrir la boca para evitar daño anal es un copy-paste. Aquí incluyo un link al documento original. Al parecer ni siquiera leyó el documento que copió. ¡Ay bendito!

Ayer pasé por tu casa
y te copiaste un manual
como ni lo leiste
pusiste lo de la bomba anal.

¡Bomba!

ENDI is teh suck

La página de internet de El Nuevo Día, endi.com siempre se siente de mala calidad. No es sólo que su contenido es limitado, si no que sus editores son bien flojos y poco profesionales. Los artículos siempre tienen mucha repetición, y aunque la página tiende a funcionar por periodos más largos que otros periódicos, aún así tiene problemas con exceso de tráfico. No debería sorprenderme que la página del periódico de mayor circulación en Puerto Rico tiene un error en su titular:

"Raclamo". Un blog no necesita spellcheck. endi necesita spellcheck.

Lost in Translation

The movie that won the Oscar for best screenplay, Lost in Translation, is very slow, uninspired and boring. Watching Americans not fitting as foreigners is as fun as getting a root canal: it happens to many people, but it isn't worth making into a movie. Sophia Coppola, your dad was awesome, you suck.
On second thought, maybe a movie about root canal could be interesting.

White Ninja

This comic is a work of pure genius.

White Ninja has some bug spray.

White Ninja and the dead bunny.

White Ninja helps a chicken.

White Ninja : the camel

White Ninja pet pet pets a kitty.

White Ninja ponders the meaning of life.

downfall

I am starting to dislike war movies. There has been too many realistic war movies lately and most of them show the same "look at how much suffering war causes" view. Someone should add something to the genre.
Der Untergang excels at doing that. It is good to see different points of view of WW II and this movie presents the theme very objectively. Many previous movies have presented the suffering of the Jews and of the American soldiers but this movie presents the life of German civilians and soldiers in the last days of the war. It shows really well the thoughts of the German nation when they decided to follow Hitler.
Also, I asked wikipedia for some information about Hitler and I am impressed by how well it illustrates his madness.

Mario Teaches Waves

Here is a very fun and educational flash animation that talks about Wave Mechanics. Is there anything better than physics taught by a pixelated Mario from Super Mario World?

La bomba, Ay que rica es!

La bomba
Ay que rica es!
Te sube el ritmo por los pies
por los pies [...]

El senado de P.R. tendrá que editar la guía anti-terroristas propuesta por la superintendente Santiago. Entre las recomendaciones que propone la guía está:

en caso de una explosión las personas deben tirarse al suelo y permanecer con la boca abierta porque la onda explosiva “subirá por los pies” e “igualmente es posible que penetre por el ano y por ello la boca debe estar abierta”

Ella recomienda que si hay una explosión abras la boca para que no te explote el culo. Santiago, le quiero informar que retortijones debido a comer sancocho en la placita en Santurce no cuentan como ataques terroristas.

Ayer pasé por tu casa
y escuché una explosión
no abrí la boca
y me salió como un follón

Bomba!

Ayer pasé por tu casa
y vi unos terroristas
se te mete algo por el ano
y lo botas en el dentista

Bomba!

Ayer pasé por tu casa
y allí estaba Osama
te dijo "o te lo meto por el culo
o abre la boca y mama"

Bomba

Yo cuento cosas así de mi país y nadie me cree. Macondo.
Gracias por la noticia, Paganism.

Carlos and Charlie's

After a super fun boat party, everyone decided to stop by Carlos and Charlie's, a bar-restaurant next to the docks. Everything around the lake is expensive, and mostly targeted for wealthy people, and this place was cheesy and trashy enough for any rich texan's taste: drunk frats, silicon boobed overly tanned girls and terrible music. I don't care if many people associate the ghetto with where the poor mexican or black people live (which are quite safe actually), the most dangerous place in the city is where the rich drunk texans gather after riding their boats.
As I was walking to get my car, some very sketchy dude was totally checking it out as if ready to steal it. When he saw us, he got very nervous, walked towards a dark area in the parking lot, and after some time, walked in some other direction and left. It was quite obvious to everyone that he was after my car.
In the bar itself, drunk frats were fighting. I think they were just horsing around, but that didn't keep 'em from pushing people around. Assholes.
Some drunk dude that wouldn't shut up about going to a strip joint after there, stole a tip jar. Very quickly stole the tip from another one. Being super greedy, instead of leaving, he went for a third jar, where he was caught by the bouncers. "I swear to it wasn't me! This dude gave me the jar and ran away, and I thought he worked here and it was a present." he told the Sheriff. The Sheriff just stood there ignoring everything he said, and then escorted him to what I guess was the jail.

Finite Simple Group (of Order Two)

Finite Simple Group (of Order Two) is a wonderful love math song! Check out the video here (thanks k1000).

When we first met, we simply connected
My heart was open but too dense
Our system was already directed
To have a finite limit, in some sense
[...]
I've proved my proposition now, as you can see,
So let's both be associative and free
And by corollary, this shows you and I to be
Purely inseparable. Q. E. D.

goodbye old computer

Don't buy Alienware computers. I don't think it came out sounding angry enough... DON'T BUY ALIENWARE COMPUTERS.
When I was trying to decide what computer circa three years ago I was looking for a computer that could last about 4 or 5 years. I knew that I was probably going to buy another computer during that time, but I wanted a computer that could serve a purpose after I replaced it. Alienware sounded like a really good option. I bought a (I should caps lock this) really expensive laptop because it was really cutting edge at that time (right now is an above average computer). I didn't care about how hot it got, its 3 fans were a status symbol; "My computer is so great, that I need 3 lawnmowers to keep it running". The computer was heavy so I didn't take it out of my desk that much. Its not a laptop, its more like a Portable Desktop.
After 1 year the BIOS battery ran out. My BIOS settings were reseted each time I turned off my computer. Since I never ran my computer on battery, I don't know when the battery stopped working. I only know that one day someone unplugged the computer by accident and it just went out. After 8 months, the CD drive started to malfunction as well. It would only read discs when it wanted, so if I wanted to install something, I would have to try 2 or 3 times. That problem got much worse with time, so I sent my computer back to warranty.
Shipping it to the company was easy, getting it back wasn't. I mentioned many times the correct address to send it, I sent e-mails, talked to people on the phone and called many times to confirm. Yet they sent it to the wrong address 3 times. THREE TIMES!!! I had to call everyday to make sure that they were sending it to the correct address and they completely ignored me three times! I was so pissed, but at least my computer would be working correctly.
I received my computer after 1 month (not to the address I specified), a USPS guy delivered it. They sent my computer through media mail so I had no way to know its location until it was in my hands. When I opened it, it had no power supply. So I had my computer, but couldn't use it, because apparently the battery was not charged or as it turned out they didn't change the battery.
I had to call again and ask for my power supply. The guy said that they would gladly ship it back. Again, wrong address 2 times. At least, the third address was the one I specified.
When I booted for the first time in 1.5 months, the BIOS worked correctly, the cd-rom didn't. I called and the warranty was over already, so there was nothing that they could do.
One year later, I buy a macintosh and I get glad that at least I can use my old computer as a file server. WRONG! I booted last night and it said "Hard Drive not found". I know that it really means that, because it was having some weird mechanical sounds.
In three years, my BIOS battery ran out, my cd-drive stop reading discs, my laptop battery stopped working, 1 pixel died, the spring to open the monitor broke and my hard drive died.

London

The London Underground has been my favorite mass transportation system of any city. Although it is the world's first, it feels safe, efficient and clean. The people of London has had a very strong spirit to overcome tragedy and to put their city back together, looking ahead for a bright future. Independent of the questionable efficacy of the war on terror of the world's leaders, my support goes to the people of England.
Living well is the best revenge.

if your horoscope is not correct sue nasa

This and this news sites are reporting about the Russian Astrologer that is suing NASA because, according to her, the Deep Impact mission would:

"infringe upon my system of spiritual and life values, in particular on the values of every element of creation, upon the unacceptability of barbarically interfering with the natural life of the universe, and the violation of the natural balance of the universe."

I will not make much comments about this situation because I think it is pretty hilarious already. However I am really scared that she may win, after all she probably knows already the outcome of the court case.

You just lost The Game

Since you are reading this, you just lost The Game. If you don't know what The Game is, here are the rules:

1) If you know The Game, you are playing The Game and can never quit. If there is an afterlife, there you will still play The Game.

2) Whenever you think of The Game, you lose and must tell everyone around you that you just lost.

3) If you hear about someone that loses The Game, as soon as everyone around you forgets about The Game, it starts again.

4) You must try to recruit as many people into The Game as possible, spreading the misery.

You have been cursed with The Game.

A Star is Porn

We went to see A Star is Porn, a voyage through the history of (edited to make them non X rated) porn. The hilarious show focused on the plots of many porn movies. Everyone's favorite was Whore of the Rings, in her adventure trying to destroy the dildo of power, but in my opinion the funniest one was Bat-Pussy, whose twat senses crime in Gotham City, and she then goes around fighting crime, riding some kind of jumping bat-ball.

not exactly a geoduck, but...

The gastropod life in Washington State is awesome. I think I have seen about 5 different type of slugs while I've been here. After some research, I found out that there are Spotted leopard slugs on my backyard. I want to see them mating just out of curiosity:

After this, the slugs will climb into a tree or other high area and then, entwined together, lower themselves on a thick string of mucus and exchange sperm.

Even more interesting, are the Red Slugs. I suppose that their defense mechanism is camouflage. They look just like duck shit. Now that's something I don't want to step on!

The Key to Revenge

A very texan, new, pick-up truck decided to block my driveway, preventing me from driving out to pick up my brother on time at the airport. I was furious. I called the police, multiple tow companies, and they didn't do anything about it. But, there is always a Key to revenge.